Life is good.

Happy.
Stressed out still..but happy.
Good things come when you least expect them.
I love the feeling of being giddy.
I love not being able to stop smiling.
I love that feeling when something unexpected makes your heart jump with excitement.
I love the unexpectedness of a crush.
I love the giggling like a little girl.
I love getting a random phone call from that person.
I love randomly seeing his facebook status' dedicated to me.
I love having text message conversations with him that are completely flirtatious.
Sigh...life is good right now.

oh college.

Dear procrastination,
You are my closest friend and worst enemy. You cause me much stress and occasional heartburn. Yes, you do allow me to do things I love instead of things I don't, but then your cousin karma inevitably makes a visit and blesses me with that wonderful cycle of misery mentioned above. Please don't be upset, but I have high ambitions of breaking up with you in the near future. I'm sure we will both take this separation pretty hard, but it's time. Thank you for all of the good memories...

love, Brianne

Now that that's over, I should probably go work on my 2 research papers, brochure, quizzes, tests, projects, blah, blah, blah....

Oh College..

Brianne and Johnny do Rexburg.

Monday was a crazy day. I actually made it to ALL 3 of my classes (for the first time in a couple weeks) AND even got up early enough to shower before I went. That is a huge accomplishment too considering I reached this semester's "point of no longer caring what I look like" a long time ago. As shocking as that is, it wasn't the crazy part of the day. On my way home from class I got a text message from my friend Johnny saying something to the effect of "I thought about coming to see you today." Naturally I replied with "umm and why didn't you?!" In a crazy sequence of events that all occurred in a matter of about half an hour, I got a message saying "I'm on my way!"...and so it began.

For those of you who are asking yourselves, "Who in the world is Johnny?" Well, I will tell you. His dad and my dad met when they were about 13 or so, and became best friends. As a result, our families have been close ever since and Johnny and I grew up together making crazaaay memories that we still laugh about on a regular basis. We're kind of what you would call "dorks." Yes, it's true.

Anyways, Johnny arrived in the most exciting (or, ya know, not) place on earth right as I was getting off work and I was SO excited! We went out to dinner at Applebees (mmmm) and then came home to look up something random online...which led to a discussion of how we wanted to go hot tubbing...which then turned into a search for hotel room prices...which quickly led to him buying one. Basically, if you haven't caught on, we're really random and spontaneous..and awesome.

Tuesday I skipped my classes to show Johnny around campus and get him hooked on Cary Judd (see previous post if you are still unaware of who that glorious man is). The following are pretty typical Brianne and Johnny.

We had a blast and made some more memories (not to mention inside jokes) that I'm sure we'll laugh about for a long time to come. It was a quick trip but totally worth it! Love you Johnny!

Obsession #2

Awhile back I said I would use this journal to share different obsessions I have with those of you who read. Well, today is finally the time for confession #2:

Cary Judd...

Now, for those of you who don't know who that is, let me explain. Cary Judd is an amazing musician that I discovered by accident when I was 15 (and anyone who knows me well knows that I REALLY do not like sharing my music with people, especially new or undiscovered artists that I find.) So, needless to say, I kept this glorious discovery to myself....that is, until I moved to Rexburg for school and found out that he was LIVING IN REXBURG TOO! Since that day I have been to probably 4 or 5 concerts, own every song he's released, and even have one of his official t-shirts. He is my "feel good" music (you know, the music I can listen to in any mood and feel good about life.)

Basically I have admired and swooned over this man from afar for a good 6 years. He is not only a mind-blowing musician, but he is gorgeous.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

His eyes are the most heart stopping shade of blue I have ever seen, his smile lines make me weak in the knees, and his curly hair is absolutely adorable. Basically I would marry this man in 2 seconds if he were to ask (and no, that is not even an exaggeration.)

Last night, however, this love obsession came to a heartbreaking discovery...Cary Judd is moving to California. I know, how will I continue living? I'm not sure. So as one last hoorah before he left, Cary had a concert at my friend's local club that my good friend Camilla and I were front and center for.

I stood there watching him with butterflies in my stomach the entire time. Of course I sang along to every song and got excited when we would make momentary eye contact. Aww, it was fabulous. Pictures were (naturally) essential as well.

And after about an hour of waiting (and, I'll admit, somewhat stalker-like staring), we finally got the guts up to ask him for a picture with him to document his last concert in the Burg. It actually went a little something like:

Me: "So, Cary Judd, I won't lie, I'm really depressed that you're leaving"
Cary: "Well, start doing drugs. Drink alcohol. Whatever helps you cope"
Me: "HAHAHA I just might..I love you THAT much"
Cary: "Aw, that's sweet of you"
Me: "So can we get a picture before you leave us?"
Cary: "Of course!" (He walks over and puts his arms around us)

And then:



Aw, perfection.

It's crazy to think I randomly stumbled upon his music in high school, and now I've met him and seen him in person several times.

Here's to you Cary Judd. You continually put a smile on my face and make my heart skip a beat. Your music never gets old. I think it's safe to say I love you.

Change.

Sometimes change is necessary. Change for the better, change to something new and different, change to something that makes me the best I can be, rather than settling for less. Sometimes change feels impossible and a long way off. Sometimes change is difficult to obtain and choosing to give up appears to be indispensable.

but..

Here and now I choose to change. I choose to be happier. I choose to be pleased with the person I am. I choose to feel adequate. I choose to feel worthy. I choose to be the daughter of God I know I am. I choose to obtain the blessings I know it possible to have.

This change is a long way off. It will take time and it will take effort. It will take tears, I am sure. It will take the support of friends and loving family. It will take prayer and scripture study. It will take fasting and praying some more. Yes, it will take time.

but..

Change starts today.

this whole adult thing.

Big Decisions are being made.

I am realizing more and more everyday just how much is really expected of me since I reached adulthood...and I must say I'm not enjoying this realization. As of right now I have multiple situations for this upcoming summer to choose between, and while none are certain just yet, it's put me in one very big pickle. Luckily my parents are willing to listen to me call and vocally work through my options and dilemmas on a daily basis. I definitely love them for that. I will surely figure it out though...and perhaps someday I will get the hang of this whole 'adult' thing. That's the goal for now.

Wish me luck.

I have hope.

I have hope

I have hope that I am a good person in spite of my mistakes...

I have hope that things are going to be ok...

I have hope that what I have been raised to believe is truth...

I have hope that I can become better every day...

I have hope that those I love most know just how much I truly do love them...

I have hope that broken hearts can mend...

I have hope that I can become closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ...

I have hope that the scriptures are the truth that I believe them to be...

I believe (there is no hope in this one) prayers are heard and answered...

I have hope that I am deserving of the many blessings I am given everyday...

I have hope that there is still good in the world if we look for it...

I have hope that patience and understanding are possible and will be the things that keep me going...

I have hope that I can finish this phase of life and be successful...

I have hope that time really is a remedy for resolution...

I have hope that example speaks to hearts more than words...

Yes, I have hope.

And the bubble is popped.

You know those moments of temporary euphoria where you think something wonderful is happening, and then in a matter of (usually very little) time that hopeful and excited feeling is quite horribly slaughtered? Well, that moment is now.

This post originally had every intention of going something along the lines of:

"Everyone STOP. Pause. Don't move. Brianne currently has a 3.7 GPA for the semester and is worried that too much excitement on anybody's part may in fact scare it away so please revel in its glory, but try not to make any sudden movements."

You know, something like that.

But.
Yes, there is definitely a but in this story.

And perhaps I should have prefaced with the little tid-bit about how I have never in my life had a 3.7 GPA....ever. Well, this morning as I went to check my grades one more time....my joyful bubble fizzled into a heap of..well, popped bubble. I went down through the list of classes and grades

Ed Psych: A
Special Education: A
Africa: B
Renaissance: B
Civil War: A...wha-what? B?!
Ed principles: A...WHAT! A D?!

Yes, it's true people. 2 A's have become a B and D in a matter of days... DAYS! Really?! Naturally you can imagine that I am completely confused and, well, let's be honest here, pretty heated. Anger isn't going to get me anywhere however, and it's only the middle of the semester so there is every possibility that my beautiful 3.7 can become a reality....likely? Honesty again? Eh, probably not. But we'll aim high I suppose. It was nice while it lasted..

Confessions.

Confession: sometimes I watch the Disney channel and laugh my butt off

Confession: sometimes I come to my own blog just to listen to my music playlist

Confession: sometimes I stay up WAY too late when I know I have to wake up early the next morning because I thought of something I feel is surely too important to wait until the next day

Confession: sometimes I drink water and spill it all down the front of myself, wipe it off, and then do it again about 2 minutes later

Confession: The fact that each of these things happened tonight puts a smile on my face.

Thank you, and goodnight.

The Holidays.

Before I get into this post, I must first preface with Ahhh it feels good to be back to this place that is all mine, writing whatever I feel like talking about, and temporarily escaping the reality of my hectic life. I love this journal...

That being said, there has clearly been an extended absence between my last post and now, and I have a lot of long overdue good times that need to be shared. The first of which would be: The Holidays. I loved every second of my two weeks at home! I must say that two weeks was not enough though seeing as the days were filled with best friends and gingerbread houses, grandparents visiting, baking millions of treats, a fabulous Christmas morning, family games, bowling....ya know, I feel the many pictures are self explanatory, so without further ado...

Now, what you're about to see is what we like to call History (almost) in the making. Yes, that would be a frame of ALL (but one) STRIKES! (Sorry mom, we still love you) :]

Maddie was angry she couldn't play the adult games...

It wouldn't be a McArthur get together without a few attempts at acrobatics

And it wouldn't be Christmas (or Grandpa in general) without a little random snoozing with a book in hand.

Needless to say, it was a fabulous Christmas.
I love my family!